St Paddy's Day Hunt
I posted this on Helium, which is why it has that disclaimer at the top. if it was just for this place, I wouldn't have bothered. Surprisingly enough, with in a couple of minutes of me posting it it was ranked 14 out of 23 articles on the subject of celebrating St Patrick's day. I doubt it will get any higher, but that was a pleasant surprise indeed.
If you could, either before, after, or instead of reading it here, go to it on Helium (here is a link) and help me make some money with this. I might ask this for future articles I post there and another place as well. just thought I would warn all my Non-Existent Readers. I also posted it on Associated Content, but since it has to be reviewed, there isn't a link available yet. I will post one one it becomes available.
St Paddy's Day Hunt
Please note that is meant for comedy peruses. If you think this is serious, you need more help then I do.
Ah St Patrick’s Day. One of the greatest days of the year. In fact, in my opinion, the only days greater then St Paddy’s day are Christmas, Halloween, and of course Taco Tuesday. I know some people might disagree, putting it before Taco Tuesday, but I have to admit. Tacos rule.
In my family, St Patrick’s Day is a festive day indeed. The day starts out bright and early at the crack of noon. After a hearty breakfast of green eggs and Guinness, the men go out hunting while the women stay behind to start work on breakfast. This isn’t for sexist reason. It is simply because the women in the family don’t like going with when we go hunting. I’m not sure why. Something about how we don’t pay attention and spend so much time burping and breaking wind that it is a wonder we ever get anything. I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking for looking for a can of air freshener after letting loose with a particularly stinking SBD.
Now you might be wondering what we go hunting for. Well some people might thing that bear or moose are some of the most dangerous and difficult prey to hunt, but we hunt something far more elusive; the wily Leprechaun.
Most people laugh when I tell them that. They say leprechauns don’t exist. That is because they have never seen one. Like Bigfoot, leprechauns exist, but thanks to their elfin magic they can remain hidden for all but one day a year; March 17. On that day the magic of the Green Isle radiates out, covering the whole planet and counteracting their magic, making them visible to everyone.
You might be wondering what type of weapon to use when hunting Leprechauns. Some people are purists, preferring a bow and arrows, but I find that arrows are too big and cause too much damage. Plus they aren’t as accurate nor do they have the killing power of a good rifle, and when you only have one opportunity a year, you have to get as many kills as you can. That is why I prefer using a rifle.
I use the Nerf Longshot CS-6. It has good range and stopping power, fires quickly, and has a six shot clip before you have to reload. The fact that clips and ammo are cheap and it is easy to reload quickly are bonuses. The scope also helps. Some people like to have the sniper barrel on it, but I find that while the increased accuracy and range is nice, it makes it difficult to use if you are close to your target, so I usually leave it at home. I also carry a Maverick Rev-6 with me. If you don’t kill it with your first shot, you need to take it out quick before it disappears and having a side arm is useful for this since the Longshot dart causes too much damage at short range.
Before I go into how to hunt Leprechauns, I would like to offer some advice on other weapons. With the exception of the Recon CS-6, I wouldn’t rely on the other Nerf weapons. Either they are too week or don’t have the range. I haven’t tried the Recon, so I can’t offer an opinion on that one at this time. Since it is suppose to be as powerful as the Long shot, I would probably work fine.
Leprechauns usually hang out in circular clearing, especially if there is a circle of mushrooms or stones in the center, so that would be a good place to start the hunt. To lure them out you can use a warm bowl of Guinness. Not sure why they prefer warm Guinness, but they do. You can also use Peeps, but only the chick ones. They don’t like the other ones. Mini Marshmallows sometimes work too, but the sugary coating of a Peep is like a pixie stick to a small child; they can’t get enough. You can also use a leprechaun call. There are some available on the market, but it is easy enough to do. Just cup your hands over your mouth like you would for a duck call and yell, “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts!” No need to sing the whole song, that first line is all you need since it I a almost exact replication of the leprechaun matting call.
A word of warning. Leprechauns are known for using various methods of luring away potential enemies. Their most common method is to leave a bowl of Lucky Charms out, but be warned. There are no clovers in the bowl, and they use the Blue Diamonds. While the diamonds are leftover from before they eliminated that marshmallow from the cereal back in 1994, there is no excuse for the clovers being missing, unless the cereal it’s self is from between 1994 and 2004, when they put clovers back in. Since it is at least four years old, it probably isn’t that good for you. Plus they use the Lucky Charms to distract you while they run away. Don’t give into the temptation. Unless you happen to have some milk. In which case it is up to you if you eat them or not.
Since they are so small, there isn’t much meat on a Leprechaun, so you will have to get a lot for a decent meal, plus more if you want to freeze some for later. I can’t go into details on how to butcher a leprechaun since it is a family secret, but I can say that leprechaun jerky is good. I prefer the teriyaki style. The most common way to serve leprechaun is leprechaun stew. To make it, take three-pound s of meet, brown it. Add a whole onion, four carrots, half a gallon of Guinness, a shot of whiskey (Jack Daniels or Jim Beam are what I usually use) and a box of Lucky Charms. Let that simmer for about three hours and serve with mini marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles on the side. Some people also like whipped cream, but I find it throws off the flavor.
And that is how you hunt and prepare leprechauns. Now if someone could tell me what the subject I was supposed to write about in the first place was, I would greatly appreciate it.
If you could, either before, after, or instead of reading it here, go to it on Helium (here is a link) and help me make some money with this. I might ask this for future articles I post there and another place as well. just thought I would warn all my Non-Existent Readers. I also posted it on Associated Content, but since it has to be reviewed, there isn't a link available yet. I will post one one it becomes available.
Please note that is meant for comedy peruses. If you think this is serious, you need more help then I do.
Ah St Patrick’s Day. One of the greatest days of the year. In fact, in my opinion, the only days greater then St Paddy’s day are Christmas, Halloween, and of course Taco Tuesday. I know some people might disagree, putting it before Taco Tuesday, but I have to admit. Tacos rule.
In my family, St Patrick’s Day is a festive day indeed. The day starts out bright and early at the crack of noon. After a hearty breakfast of green eggs and Guinness, the men go out hunting while the women stay behind to start work on breakfast. This isn’t for sexist reason. It is simply because the women in the family don’t like going with when we go hunting. I’m not sure why. Something about how we don’t pay attention and spend so much time burping and breaking wind that it is a wonder we ever get anything. I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking for looking for a can of air freshener after letting loose with a particularly stinking SBD.
Now you might be wondering what we go hunting for. Well some people might thing that bear or moose are some of the most dangerous and difficult prey to hunt, but we hunt something far more elusive; the wily Leprechaun.
Most people laugh when I tell them that. They say leprechauns don’t exist. That is because they have never seen one. Like Bigfoot, leprechauns exist, but thanks to their elfin magic they can remain hidden for all but one day a year; March 17. On that day the magic of the Green Isle radiates out, covering the whole planet and counteracting their magic, making them visible to everyone.
You might be wondering what type of weapon to use when hunting Leprechauns. Some people are purists, preferring a bow and arrows, but I find that arrows are too big and cause too much damage. Plus they aren’t as accurate nor do they have the killing power of a good rifle, and when you only have one opportunity a year, you have to get as many kills as you can. That is why I prefer using a rifle.
I use the Nerf Longshot CS-6. It has good range and stopping power, fires quickly, and has a six shot clip before you have to reload. The fact that clips and ammo are cheap and it is easy to reload quickly are bonuses. The scope also helps. Some people like to have the sniper barrel on it, but I find that while the increased accuracy and range is nice, it makes it difficult to use if you are close to your target, so I usually leave it at home. I also carry a Maverick Rev-6 with me. If you don’t kill it with your first shot, you need to take it out quick before it disappears and having a side arm is useful for this since the Longshot dart causes too much damage at short range.
Before I go into how to hunt Leprechauns, I would like to offer some advice on other weapons. With the exception of the Recon CS-6, I wouldn’t rely on the other Nerf weapons. Either they are too week or don’t have the range. I haven’t tried the Recon, so I can’t offer an opinion on that one at this time. Since it is suppose to be as powerful as the Long shot, I would probably work fine.
Leprechauns usually hang out in circular clearing, especially if there is a circle of mushrooms or stones in the center, so that would be a good place to start the hunt. To lure them out you can use a warm bowl of Guinness. Not sure why they prefer warm Guinness, but they do. You can also use Peeps, but only the chick ones. They don’t like the other ones. Mini Marshmallows sometimes work too, but the sugary coating of a Peep is like a pixie stick to a small child; they can’t get enough. You can also use a leprechaun call. There are some available on the market, but it is easy enough to do. Just cup your hands over your mouth like you would for a duck call and yell, “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts!” No need to sing the whole song, that first line is all you need since it I a almost exact replication of the leprechaun matting call.
A word of warning. Leprechauns are known for using various methods of luring away potential enemies. Their most common method is to leave a bowl of Lucky Charms out, but be warned. There are no clovers in the bowl, and they use the Blue Diamonds. While the diamonds are leftover from before they eliminated that marshmallow from the cereal back in 1994, there is no excuse for the clovers being missing, unless the cereal it’s self is from between 1994 and 2004, when they put clovers back in. Since it is at least four years old, it probably isn’t that good for you. Plus they use the Lucky Charms to distract you while they run away. Don’t give into the temptation. Unless you happen to have some milk. In which case it is up to you if you eat them or not.
Since they are so small, there isn’t much meat on a Leprechaun, so you will have to get a lot for a decent meal, plus more if you want to freeze some for later. I can’t go into details on how to butcher a leprechaun since it is a family secret, but I can say that leprechaun jerky is good. I prefer the teriyaki style. The most common way to serve leprechaun is leprechaun stew. To make it, take three-pound s of meet, brown it. Add a whole onion, four carrots, half a gallon of Guinness, a shot of whiskey (Jack Daniels or Jim Beam are what I usually use) and a box of Lucky Charms. Let that simmer for about three hours and serve with mini marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles on the side. Some people also like whipped cream, but I find it throws off the flavor.
And that is how you hunt and prepare leprechauns. Now if someone could tell me what the subject I was supposed to write about in the first place was, I would greatly appreciate it.
posted by R.C. at
6:41 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home