Merry Christmas!

Hope every one had a good Christmas. I got kind of a cute story I would like to share. Every Christmas eve I go with my parents to my Grandparents, and we go down early so that we can attend the candle light service at their church. I could have been interesting considering my 9 month old nephew was there, but my sister was at the end of the pew and I was right beside her, so there was a buffer zone. I was tempted to use my Mag Light as a candle, but decided that it would be too bright.

Anyways, in front of me was a little girl, probobly about 5. Her mother offered her a candle, but she refused. Instead she reached into her little purse and pulled out a tube of lip gloss. When she twisted the bottom, it light up. She was so proud of it. Every one else had regular candles, but she had a blue one. She held it up whenever her mom held up her candle, she held it in front of the hymnal when ever her mom did. Every once in a while she would take of the cap (it was clear) and put some on her lips before holding it up again. She was having fun.


Before I go, I have to share some stuff I got from Stop The ACLU.

Stop The ACLU has obtained through an anonymous informant, that Santa Clause has responded to the ACLU’s request for their assistance. We have also received an advance copy of a press release expected to be announced by the ACLU sometime later this afternoon.

Mr. A. Romero
Executive Director,
American Civil Liberties Union
125 Broad Street
New York, NY 10004
December 23, 2005

Dear Mr. Romero,

I regret to inform you that I cannot be of any assistance in your efforts. You see since your scepticism in the season runs deeper than a disbelief in me, it shows that your efforts are not viable to the traditions that I personally hold dear.

The wonder and mystery of Santa Clause is one grown of the mystery and wonder of Christ himself. It is with the spirit of giving stemming from the great Magi that my tradition stems. It is from the gift of God to the world that my purpose has grown. The reason for my being is to bring happiness to children of all nations. And this is a product of the traditions of Christianity.

And although I do not discriminate against those children of different faiths, it is still their true belief in me which allows my power to build upon the traditions of one of the world’s greatest faiths.

So in response to your request, I cannot in all consciousness assist an organization which neither believes in me nor Christ the Savior of the world. Should your personal beliefs or those of your organization change in the future, I would be happy to consider any requests made at that time.

Remember, I know when you are sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

Best Regards,

Kris Kringle, Santa Clause,
Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, etc…

In response to this letter from Santa Clause, Anthony Romero will be releasing the following statement:

It is the belief of the American Civil Liberties Union that the character Santa Clause is in conspiracy with the President of the United States, Mr. George W. Bush, in spying on peaceful American organizations. We have recently obtained evidence that Mr. Clause is working in consort with the National Security Agency and the FBI in obtaining privileged information about American Citizens.

“I know when you are sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know when you’ve been bad or good…” This statement from Mr. Clause himself is a confession to the facts.

We intend on filing a federal lawsuit in the 9th Circuit this afternoon requesting that Mr. Clause, Mr. Bush, the NSA, and the FBI cease operations which invade the privacy of American citizens.

That one isn't true, but I thought that it was funny. Here is another one.

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks andTrees and Fire Hydrants and . . . . . .

6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8 . Full Personality Disorder– You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells . . . . .

10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House

11. Senile Dementia — Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So IBurned Down the House

13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.