How To Take Over The World

How To Take Over The World:
The Rules

‘ello. Reginald Butterfield here, field correspondent for the BBC. Over the years we ‘ave received numerous letters from viewers on the subject of world domination. We ‘ere at the BBC felt that it was our duty to explain how exactly to take over the world. That is why we ‘ave teamed up with Jefferson Pharmaceuticals, makers of Get The Cork anti-diarrihal medicine, Can’t Go laxatives, Little Jimmies first nuclear reactor with real weapons grade plutonium, and of course Mommy’s Best Cake Mixes. Remember, if it doesn’t say Mommy’s Best, Mommy didn’t make it.

Tonight we will explore the procedure required to take over the world. In future installments we will explore various types of world domination, ‘ave a butcher’s at different ways of taking over the world, and talk with some people who have actually succeeded.

As we all know, the UN is the authority by which all would be megalomaniacs must answer to. After all, they ‘ave their own plans for world domination and are nice enough to let others try to take over the world before they do. Therefore everyone must receive permission from the UN before attempting to take over the world.
In order to receive permission, you must first decide what type of world domination you want to try. There are three main ways; through military power, economic power, and through secret societies. We will explore these in depth later.

After deciding what type you want to attempt, you must develop a plan detailing things such where your funding comes from, what your army will be made up of, how long it will take, and how you plan on being defeated. After presenting your proposal, in triplicate of course, to the UN, they will put you on a waiting list. When it is your turn, you will hopefully have everything in place to start taking over the world.

The main obstacle most people run into is financial problems, but our sponsors, Jefferson Pharmaceuticals, will gladly donate necessary amount.

Now you know ‘ow to gain permission to take over the world. Please join us tomorrow night when we will ‘ave a butcher’s at the most simplistic form of world domination, economic domination.