How to make the Oscars better

I was bored last night, and while everyone else on Twitter seemed to be talking about the Oscars, I was writing, listening to Blues Traveler, twitting the lyrics to "hook" and then twitting the lyrics to "This Is The Life" by Weird Al, just because it worked. then, while playing Red Dead Redemption and while the Oscars were actually happening, I posted my advice on how to make the Oscars better.

Winners are discouraged from going over the time limit on speeches by Snipers with laser sights.

The must arm wrestle Big Show @No1Knucklehead to get their award.

Make the winners crawl across a mine field to get to the stage.

Losers are forced to watch "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar" as punishment for losing.

Dethklok presents awards. Several audience fatalities follow.

Replace the red carpet entrances with WWE style entrances, complete with pyros.

The Rock @TheRock hosts the show in character and mocks everyone.

Three words. Giant Robot Battles.

Anyone who uses cliches in their acceptance speach gets punched in the face by Optimus Prime.

All categories determines by the nominees entering the Hell In A Cell cage and fighting to the death. last one standing wins.

And the number one way to make the Academy Awards (and most other award shows) better?.

By replacing it with an airing of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.