How to make the Oscars better

I was bored last night, and while everyone else on Twitter seemed to be talking about the Oscars, I was writing, listening to Blues Traveler, twitting the lyrics to "hook" and then twitting the lyrics to "This Is The Life" by Weird Al, just because it worked. then, while playing Red Dead Redemption and while the Oscars were actually happening, I posted my advice on how to make the Oscars better.

Winners are discouraged from going over the time limit on speeches by Snipers with laser sights.

The must arm wrestle Big Show @No1Knucklehead to get their award.

Make the winners crawl across a mine field to get to the stage.

Losers are forced to watch "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar" as punishment for losing.

Dethklok presents awards. Several audience fatalities follow.

Replace the red carpet entrances with WWE style entrances, complete with pyros.

The Rock @TheRock hosts the show in character and mocks everyone.

Three words. Giant Robot Battles.

Anyone who uses cliches in their acceptance speach gets punched in the face by Optimus Prime.

All categories determines by the nominees entering the Hell In A Cell cage and fighting to the death. last one standing wins.

And the number one way to make the Academy Awards (and most other award shows) better?.

By replacing it with an airing of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Pop Tarts Week

You can blame Geoff Johns for this. Here it is, all 58 tweets of Pop Tarts Week!

Feb 5--12
How come I'm just finding out about this? http://poptarts.wikia.com/wiki/Pop_Tarts_Crunch
And thanks to @GeoffJohns0 for having it as your profile pic so I could find out about it
Why is it they always discontinue awesome stuff like that?
Going to have to get some Pop Tarts, break them up in a bowl and add milk.
WTF!?! Why did they discontinue Apple Cinnamon Pop tarts!
MMmmmmm. Broken-up-spoon-sized Pop Tarts in milk. MMmmmmm
YAY!!!! Guitar Hero and home made Pop Tarts cereal like food!
I'm bored. Lets see if I can get Pop Tarts trending
All 2 real people following me, Lets get Pop Tarts trending! Because Pop Tarts are awesome!
Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart Pop Tart
Why does new Twitter hate all browsers but Chrome? also, Pop Tarts
Opps. my time has been set to Mountain all this time and not Central. Where we eat Pop Tarts


Feb 6--6
Damn my leg is hurting today. And the only thing that takes away the pain? POP TARTS!!!! and aspirin. but mostly pop tarts
Man I just did horrible playing Hotel California in GH: World Tour. Should probably not play while eating Pop Tarts
I have spent the last 3 hours and 14 posts tweeting about Pop Tarts!
Damn It! now it's 15 post about Pop Tarts!
CRAP! That was 16 about Pop Tarts!
ok, I think I'm just go to bed. probably dream about Pop Tarts. or tweets about Pop Tarts. Of fish. but probably Pop Tarts


Feb 7--3
Seems my attempt to get Pop Tarts trending failed. Stupid Super Bowl. Clearly the that is the reason it didn't Trend
lol. YAY!!!! My nephew is apparently getting on the Pop Tart band wagon on Facebook!!! or it will be another inside joke
YAY!!! Top Gear Premier tonight! Boo!!! So Is Raw. Fortunately I have Pop Tarts to comfort me


Feb 8--7
YA!!! looks like I might be able to get to work today!!!! That means I can get more Pop Tarts!!!!
Lol. I want a chicken that lays bacon. Or pop tarts----Get Fuzzy: 2011-02-06: http://comics.com/get_fuzzy/2011-02-06/
My hair is really staticy today. Think I need more Pop Tarts in my diet.
Tell him there are Pop Tarts waiting for him Pig!----Pearls Before Swine: 2011-02-05: http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2011-02-05/
Wish me luck. i'm off on an epic quest to get to work. and buy Pop Tarts.
YAY!!! I have returned safely from work. AND I HAVE POP TARTS!!!!
I bought 3 cases of Pop Tarts. Wonder if that will be enough to last till this weekend.
While watching Top Chef, I discovered a way to win every challenge. Bet you cant guess what it is........Just give the judges Pop Tarts!!!!


Feb 9--25
ARGH!!! the store I work at is on Facebook and Twitter for no reason!!!! *facepalm* AND NO PICS OF THE POP TARTS SECTION OF THE STORE!!!!
Some good pics of my department, but none of the Pop Tarts. Again I say *Facepalm*
ARGH!!!! Old Twitter is acting stupid and New Twitter doesn't work period! The only thing that is preventing mass damage is Pop Tarts
@simonpegg Try not to anger The Stig. I hear he likes Pop Tarts
Holy Crap! I've posted over 500 Tweets! This is #504. #500? a Retweet to @simonpegg. and nothing about Pop Tarts
I thought at that milestone I would have something important to say. Oh well. POP TARTS!!!!
Hm. Seems pointing out to @simonpegg that The Stig likes Pop Tarts has drawn the interest of a bunch of Spam accounts. who like Pop tarts
YAY!!!! 7 new followers (and maybe more to come) ALL FAKE!!!! Must be the Pop Tarts
Holy Crap!!!! New Twitter is working with Chrome! Must have been due to the bribes
And by bribes I of course mean POP TARTS!!!!
Time for bed and dreams of Pop Tarts. Or orbital weapons platforms. But probably Pop Tarts. although I do like orbital weapons Platforms
bet you can't guess what I'm having for Breakfast
Everyone who said I was having Pop Tarts for Breakfast are wrong. Why would I have Pop Tarts?
What, you think I'm obsessed with them or something? That's crazy talk!
YOUR ALL CRAZY!!!!
Crazy people!
It's a Sam's Choice Blueberry Toaster Pastry. There's a difference.
They aren't as good, but they were out of actual Pop Tarts when I was there last week and didn't want to go back to the grocery store.
Got to finish them before I open the ones I got yesterday
Singed myself while throwing wood into the fireplace. :( must eat Pop Tarts to make the ouchie stop hurting :)
Of to work, the place that gives me the ability to buy, as well as the place that sells Pop Tarts
So Activision may have killed off Guitar Hero. Surprised it took this long. How long til they kill Call Of Duty? and can Pop Tarts save them
Hopefully Guitar Hero and the Tony Hawk games' demise hare just well deserved breaks. I'll eat Pop Tarts in their honor
Geometry Wars and Pop Tarts!
Achievements Unlocked: Eating Pop Tarts while gaming. 1 million tastiness points


Feb 10--1
How is Card Captors Sakura trending but Pop Tarts didn't?


Feb 13--4
Hope everyone enjoyed the waste of time that was Pop Tarts week. wanted to do this wrap up on Fri, but didn't have time.
Too many Pop Tarts to eat :)
Might have to do it again some time
In all, counting this one and the next post, 132 words involving Pop Tarts in some way
Totals counting these last few posts--7 days (counting today) and, counting this one, 58 posts about Pop Tarts in some way

A little bit ago, Jeph Jacques, creator of the web comic Questionable Content (BTW, you can follow him at @jephjacques) was talking about how he gets annoyed when people ask him how to make money with webcomics or didn't do a web comic because it wasn't a good way to make money.

I admit, early on when I was working on Adventures Of Jim And Bob, I thought about this question. How can I make money off of this. Not because I wanted to quit my job and do Jim and Bob for a living, but because I figured "why not." Why not see if I can make a few bucks off this. If I make enough to cover the cost of ad and pro accounts and stuff like that each month, great. if not, oh well. If I get to the point where I can do it for a living that would be awesome, but if not no big deal.

That's the great thing about sites like Cafe Press. A lot of web comics I read, especially ones that have been around for a while, order cases of t-shirts and other merchandise and handle shipping themselves, meaning they have to have the merchandise and storage space for it before they can sell it. With sites like Cafe Press, you can let someone else worry about that. You don't make as much money, but you make a bit, don't have to worry about how to store stuff, don't have to worry about packaging and shipping, and don't have to worry about raising the money to order the stuff in the first place. You just send in the logo or what ever you want on the merchandise, chose what type, sizes (if applicable) and colors and let someone else handle the other stuff. Like I said, you don't make as much, but it is a good way to get started. and if you do start selling lots and having lots of readers each day, most of them offer deals for the "store owner" (you) so you can get your stuff cheaper for conventions or something. like handling packaging and shipping yourself.

In the end, the reason I stopped doing it wasn't due to lack of a feasible business model, but laziness. Kind of hard to over come that some times. Might start it up again, but if I do, I will start working on how to make money off it for the very same reason. just to see if I can.

Lol. I think I'm breaking the rules on Twitter. BTW, you can follow me here

Adding one or more topic/hashtag to an unrelated Tweet in an attempt to gain attention in search.
Repeatedly Tweeting the same topic/hashtag without adding value to the conversation in an attempt to get the topic trending/trending higher.
Tweeting about each trending topic in turn in order to drive traffic to your profile, especially when mixed with advertising.
Listing the trending topics in combination with a request to be followed.
Tweeting about a trending topic and posting a misleading link to something unrelated.

Stan Lee posted this on Twitter (BTW, you can follow him at TheRealStanLee

Within thy ranks, my brave Brigadiers, are many comicbook fans, for which I praise thee. But a problem doth lurk beneath the surface—
Thy curiosity doth impel thee to continually ask “Who would win in a fight between this superhero or that?” Here now my official reply—
Whene’er two superheroes engage in battle, only the writer knoweth whom would be victorious, because only the writer can so determine!
All-powerful is the writer! If I create a battle between Godzilla and Mickey Mouse, Mickey might win-- if it pleaseth me!
Yea, no matter how mighty a fictional foe may be, the all-powerful writer can vanquish him with a stroke! Excelsior!

Well this sucks

Since the first big snowstorm of the year in late November, I've only had 4 weeks where I didn't miss a day of work due to snow or drifting. Of those I lost 1 day due to problems with my truck and I lost enough hours to equal a full shift, so basically I've gone 3 weeks without missing a day. And 3 of those weeks were in a row in January.

I was looking at a fourth week until Saturday, when I missed a few hours due to visibility. And that was the end of that streak.

Late Sunday, it started snowing and was windy. Everyone was snowed in yesterday, although I didn't have to work anyways. Today, everyone was able to get into town, but will have to find someplace to spend the night. I walked about 1/3 of the way down our (1/2 mile long) driveway. In that distance, I found 6 spots that could cause me trouble. Knowing that the rest of the driveway is going to be worse, I turned around to get home and call into work.Int he 20 or so minutes it took me to get that far, my tracks had largely disappeared.

I could have, maybe gotten to work. It would have required me to maintain a steady speed and a straight line the whole way. In other words, I would have to be The Stig.

And now I just heard that they are pulling the plows at 2, so the driveway might not be cleared tomorrow either.

Looks like I'll be paying for 3 weeks of not missing a day by missing two this week.

yay.